This weekend's snow had us covered here. I wasn't able to go to Tyra's site on the 6th, a first. Each month I have gone out on this day, tended to her site, and sent her a balloon with a kiss. This Saturday our roads were covered and I knew that she too was covered. I got her balloon on Friday fearing that the party store would be closed. I also had a new mylar butterfly filled for home. Since Tyra died I have kept a butterfly inflated in our living room. Tyra enjoyed balloons. Holidays were always accompanied by helium filled symbols - bunnies, shamrocks, hearts, pumpkins, and the frequent butterfly. Well the first balloon, pink & purple swirled latex, hit a tree and popped. My heart sunk. Not only did I not get out to her site, she didn't get her special delivery either. When I walked back in I saw the Butterfly - smiled - and said "Oh, you wanted this one" - so, the butterfly flew off into the sky.
This was not our first snow but this time the idea, the image, of my sweet girl covered was so troubling. I tried to reason with myself, reminding myself that this is not where she really is, thinking I would go out on Valentines Day and send her a heart, perhaps the covers would be lifted by then. I couldn't do it, I needed to do something for her, I couldn't wait. So, Tuesday afternoon I ventured out to the cemetary and cleared off my precious girls marker. Thank goodness for her flag as her site would have been otherwise hidden. It wasn't until I got back into the van that I realized how disturbing the image of me plodding across the deep snow of the cemetary with a shovel in hand must have been. I then thought that Tyra, with her very twisted sense of humor, was surely smiling at the image of her mother resembing a grave robber. Oh, if someone had called the police she would have certainly laughed hysterically. Tyra has always provided the bright spot in my day.
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A little snow doesn't change that.
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