Her page...

Her page...

It is that time of year again, and again I am honored to have Tyra remembered with the many other much loved & missed children who were cared for at the AI duPont Hospital for Children. Again, I also struggle to 'capture' her story on an 81/2 x 11 page. Again, I am saddened that my favorite picture to be used in the slideshow remains the same. No new photos of my sweet girl.

This year though too I am grateful. Grateful, to have the opportunity to share The Parent Thoughts during the service. Grateful, in the healing recognition that Tyra LIVED! It is because of this that I did not include dates on this years page. What are dates anyway but numbers? It is the LIVING that matters most.

LIVING with GRATITUDE this Life!!!

TOUGH & DURABLE...

I recently opened a book of poems that has been on my office desk for many years. The collection, "Hope through Heartsongs". The author, Mattie Stepanek, a boy with Muscular Dystrophy who passed away in June of 2004 at the age of 13. I was struck by one poem in particular this past week, rewrote it, and posted it next to my computer screen. It reads...

BOTH SIDES  

Every privilege comes with a responsibility.

Sounds Tough.

Every responsibility comes with a privilege.

Sounds Durable.

Responsibility & Privilege, both have me working into the night 'catching up'. Both had me take a break from the work for which I receive a paycheck to work on the talk I am to share at next months Remembrance Service at the Children's Hospital where Tyra spent her final days and where I continue to find great healing. 

TOUGH & DURABLE

(that about sums it up)

to LIVE...

Wow, I'm unclear as to where this post will lead but have so much to share, to acknowledge, to ...

Yesterday, I attended a funeral. Yesterday, I was introduced to an amazing 31 year old woman with a short but very FULL story. Sound familiar? The service was for the sister of my dear friend and fellow traveler on this journey of the bereaved mother. Of course there was sadness as is the case when anyone who is loved leaves our physical world. Oh, but more importantly, there was laughter. Hers was a story to be shared. Hers was a service filled with people who shared pieces of that story. People who will certainly carry on her story. Sound familiar? I was reminded of Tyra's service in so many ways. I was reminded in the comments from our dearest and closest friends on how very FULL Tyra's life was. On how others who had not met her (many of my highschool friends) left Tyra's service feeling as though they had. How could this be possible? Because she HAS an amazing full story. A story of LIVING.

I find myself saying often "We are all going to die". This is sometimes received with a somber face. I don't say this to be depressing, maudlin if you will. It is a fact. We are all going to die - 7 month old little girls die, 17 year old teenage daughters die, 31 year old young women die, 49 year old mother's of four die. It's not a matter of if but when. The true question in my mind is can we say that we LIVED? I mean really lived. I can say that while I certainly would love to be experiencing new adventures with Tyra our life together was one lived without regret. Were there future plans? Sure. I was going to take her to Vegas for her 21 birthday. Well, she had not turned 21 yet. So, it did not happen. Otherwise we LIVED. We wrote an amazing story.

I can think of no unfulfilled wishes. I wish we had...  better yet I can think of no I wish I hadn'ts... you know like - I wish I hadn't spent so much time at work. I wish I hadn't used my earnings to pay mortgage on a home that she wouldn't have LIVED long in anyway. Tyra and I LIVED. No regrets. If we had an inkling, a desire we made it happen. We had fabulous JOYfilled adventures. We had an amazing full story. Tyra's story did not end with her death, neither did mine (well, neither WILL mine)

My most recent adventure was a trip to WA state. I've wanted to go visit with my dear Uncle who lives there. I've wanted to attend a concert of one of my favorite artists. I've wanted to visit the islands that were so special to my Aunt. So... I did. Vacations have never been about relaxing to me or getting away for that matter. Vacations are a time to LIVE. To experience new adventures. The sign in my mind of a great vacation is not to come home rested but to some home exhausted having taken advantage of every moment. This is how I LIVED my life with Tyra and this is how I intend to continue LIVING. It all felt so good, so right. My mouth hurt from smiling (having gotten sunburned lips after falling asleep on the grass during the music festival - a contributor). If the only compliment I ever receive on my physical appearance is that I have a great smile that will be quite alright. I heard that often during my weeks adventure.

I had real encounters with people. I put away the filters. In my life I have befriended the most amazing population of people, those with developmental disabilities. I have been surrounded by my filterless friends since my early teens and have learned so much from them. Just say IT, for goodness sake. Just do IT. Just LIVE! If you ask me they get it. Got a question?? ask it. Have an inkling?? do it. Filters, can keep out impurities. They can keep us from getting 'burnt' but they also keep the sun out. Had I not gotten burnt I might not have truly felt the smile.

I have so much more to share on this adventure. I will do so soon and with picture for sure. Tyra made profound appearances. Today, I am off to LIVE some more. The sun is about to rise here and my bike is calling my name. Lovin & LIVING this life!!!