I've been away figuratively as well which is why I am writing tonight. I'm writing tonight as an affirmation to myself to stay present and to choose JOY.. because... I've been away.
This week I was talking with someone. Talking the way conversations go with my less than perfect Thai and my conversation partner not speaking English. What I ascertained and 'armchair' diagnosed was that the person may have carpal tunnel. While I've taken Graduate A&P it was my personal experience that brought me to this conclusion.
I then had to walk away, My personal experience - the time I developed carpel tunnel, which was successfully remedied with an injection of steroids. The carpal tunnel that I developed during Tyra's 6 week hospital stay in 2008. The 6 weeks I was blessed to remain at her side, in her bed even. Blessed? Blessed to have spent 6 weeks in the hospital? Yes, blessed. Many parents do not have the ability to stay with their children as I did. Whether it be the requirement to care for other children or to work. I was able to spend every day, every second with my girl. I was able to push her in her wheelchair at all hours of the night (Tyra was most comfortable in movement - like a colicky thing) while pulling the IV pole along. This is what resulted in the carpal tunnel and I would not trade it for the world.
Pain is a part of this journey.
As the steroid injection was a remedy for the carpal tunnel - I have found Gratitude to be a remedy for pain and sadness.
In remembering all for which I have to be grateful I am choosing to live in JOY.
This quote by Andre Gide rings so true for me
“Know that joy is rarer, more difficult, and more beautiful than sadness. Once you make this all-important discovery, you must embrace joy as a moral obligation.”
Yes, I have known sadness but most importantly I have been privileged to know JOY.
To LIVE with JOY
I often reference Tyra as my teacher. Her lessons have in fact been many. Tonight too I want to acknowledge my Mom,my first teacher. Today marks 31 years since she died. Our time together wasn't long but her lessons were also great. Just last week when I realized that it was the birthday of one of my students I was able to go right to my stash and find a gift. My Mom always kept a stash of 'just in case' gifts and birthdays were always a big deal. It's nice to think that I am like her.
Joyfilled blessings.
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