Forever the TEACHER...

I've spent many days and nights over the past few weeks at the bedside of a very special friend while he struggles with some complex medical issues. Watching this amazing soul undergo procedures and testing with such pure trust and bravery I am reminded of my sweet girl. Both of them without words but with so much to say if only people take the time to listen. My job - my duty - my passion is to ensure that they are heard!

During this recent journey people at the hospital have said things  like "oh, you know just what to do" or "wow, you've got this down". I think to myself IF ONLY THEY KNEW. So yes, I am proficient at transfering someone from bed to stretcher with multiple tubes attached - and yes, I am well versed in the lingo and inpatient ways. Sure I learned these things during the many weeks Tyra spent at AI duPont. It made me so sad to think that this 'skill set' arose from her most difficult of times.

Then I thought and took comfort in the many other lessons of Tyra. She taught me how to advocate on a whole new level. At times I called myself her agent. It was not and is not just about making sure the proper care is provided but making sure the care is provided to the unique, valued person lying in the bed. She had has a name as does my friend. She had has a story as does my friend. She had has many people who love her as does my friend. Many times both during and after Tyra's hospitalization people would say "she taught me so much".

People have gotten to know my friend. They have come to care not just for him but about him.

I believe they HEAR him!

 Thank-you Tyra for continuing to teach. I am so grateful to have been your student.      

SPRING TRAINING...

     

On this first weekend of Spring my mind wanders to ballfields. In 1999, Tyra became one of the founding players on the Delmar Challengers Little League team - Thanks to Coach Dawn for bringing this to our area. A truly selfless undertaking given that she did not have a child playing on the team. Coach Dawn's family and friends often outnumbered the players that first season.

                                 

           How cool that Tyra's walker coordinated with the uniform.

 (No, we didn't plan it that way).  

  

 In this division each child is paired with a buddy. What great buddies Tyra had in Miss Soozie, Miss Kim, and several 'pinch hitters'. Her big sis Tisha joined us one summer as a buddy for Tyra's teammates. She was always Tyra's buddy off the fields so we agreed to share her during games.

In true Tyra form - she loved to fly around the bases the faster the better, especially if it meant rounding 3rd on 2 wheels. Also in true Tyra form emerged the DIVA. As much as she loved the DIAMOND my girl was not much for hanging in the outfield. The whole hot, dusty, sweaty thing was not very DIVA. She could often be seen in the outfield getting fanned by her buddy - yes DIVA. As the team grew so did the length of innings. It was great that so many kids were able to take part in this truly American past-time. Tyra retired her jersey after four seasons having made awesome friends and memories.
                               

Here's to Spring training, Spring cleaning and dusting off some amazing memories.

TOUCH...

"Some people reach for your hand and touch your heart"

A year ago this morning some very kind staff at AI duPont made this casting of Tyra's hand.

Later that evening I held Tyra in my arms as she took her final breaths.

Together always...

Tyra touched many lives. Like this handprint her impression remains and

in my heart she will forever live.

DIZZY LAUGHS at OneTrueMedia.com

Her LAUGH... music to my ears.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Love alone...

"If love alone could have saved you,
 you would have lived forever."

BIRTHDAY at OneTrueMedia.com

18 years ago...

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Waking up...

A year ago today,  Saturday the 21st, I woke up. I woke up next to Tyra with a nurse across from us testing Tyra's blood sugar. Tyra did not flinch. I then realized - I had woken up - this meant I had slept. Slept through the night no less. Tyra too had slept through the night or so I thought. I whisperd to the nurse my surprise at this. She commented how Tyra had not stirred during the previous sugar check either. I tried to wake Tyra. Softly first - and progressively in a more panicked state. Yes, she was breathing. Yes, she was warm but she could not wake up. I say could knowing that if it had been possible she would have. Tyra always did her best. The room filled with people both from our unit and the response team from the PICU. She would need to be transferred immediately. Her color was in fact dusky, her breathing was off, and she could not wake up. So much of this day and the days to follow are a blur. What I know is that Tyra ended up intubated on a ventilator with multiple medications hung to stabilize her heart.

My sweet girl never woke up. While her date of death is March 6th, I believe that it was sometime last night a year ago that she moved on. If I had known what might I have done? I would have recorded her giggle, I would have taken our picture, I would not have fallen asleep. I am grateful that I don't have to say...

I would have been beside her - I was
I would have kissed her goodnight - I did
I would have told her "I love you" - I did and I lived this

Waking up can be so hard.